Book overview
The author Mikki Kendall expresses powerful rage about how white feminists have carefully crafted a self-preservation path to privilege, entitlement, and arrogance while claiming to fight for all women, and have ignored or worse, are unaware of the needs of black, brown, and yellow-skinned women, and the challenges of immigrants, LGBTQIA, indigenous, and other minorities.
Kendall speaks articulately, authoritatively, and credibly. After all, she rose from the poverty of a broken home to earn two master’s degrees, publish two books, and achieve financial stability and career success as an author, speaker and thought leader in matters of race reforms. She rose past the hardships of being an awkwardly shaped child growing up in the poor part of Chicago, raised by grandparents.
What’s the core message?
White feminists are clueless about the needs of women of color, indigenous peoples, immigrants, and persons of non-conforming genders. Kendall addresses the broad expanse of gaps that white feminists don’t comprehend, from the physical to familial, societal to political, and financial to structural inequities.
Kendall calls out the white feminists for bamboozling non-white women like only a woman of color can, with rage, indignation, and righteousness. She lays out the facts and explains the gaps in knowledge and experiences that non-white women face to fit into a dominant white world: hair texture, skin lightening, body shape, food shortage, men missing, jailing or killing of black men, (the threat of ) homelessness, absent healthcare, domestic violence, and lack of mentors. Brutal. She calls out the white feminists and politicians for choosing their white women’s privileges of whiteness over reforms for all women and uses elections and political influence in funding social programs to provide evidence of prejudice and entitlement that is alive and strong.
She further excoriates the society of doctors and the industry of medicine as a source of systemic and structural failure that neither researches the nuances of colored women’s issues nor those of the LGBTQIA or indigenous women nor understands them to sufficiently and fully treat them. She presents facts to truly shame the establishment.
The reality she presents calls for immediate and significant reform.
What the book does well.
The author skillfully engages the reader by weaving facts, stories, struggles, and projections of what can be done to fix the exclusion of all womens’ in the fight for equality, fairness, and equity. She tells her own success story and compares it to the life of a black man, a schoolmate, dead before 30 in a life of drug trade that paid for his family’s care, and another story of a woman who manages to free herself from poverty. She raises the mirror to America’s never reconciled racial past and inequities. The critique is uncomfortable and unsettling. On one hand, some, like the author have risen to freedom like the famous Rev. Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream speech,” and yet the majority feel oppressed and handcuffed even in the aftermath of a partially black, President Barak Obama’s eight-year leadership run. The inequities are a dark and sad reality for a nation like America that is a beacon of hope for all across the globe.
Kendall does not excuse blacks for their conformance to white standards. She sees the whites assigning token blacks to successful tracks: wealth, celebrity, and status. These token blacks who mimic whites, in turn, designate themselves as gatekeepers of blacks who can lock-on to the success pathways, just like they did. She laments the need for blacks to lose their identity and authenticity to fit into white culture.
What could have made this book better?
Kendall has raised the temperature of this feminist debate to a new level. It is a worthy cause for women around the world. She has earned the right based on her own experiences and insights, and data to demand action. To be fair, she makes recommendations. Unfortunately, she sets a bar too low for the magnitude of (humanity) women’s struggles. Health is a top priority. Why not call out the Health and Human Services, Federal Drug Administration, and Housing and Urban Development? And why not call out the officials at the United Nations for not doing more? She throws a direct glare of the intense spotlight on white feminists’ bigotry. The book has the legitimacy to name and shame people who have done and are doing wrong for claiming the banner for all women and not doing the work for all, then call them out – politicians, educators, clergy, and activists. Now is the time. This book is the place.
Curiously, Mikki Kendall did not connect what would seem to be some obvious key progress dots. She speaks of education but stops short of linking it to technology and innovation. Additionally, she does not bring up the role of faith in the black community. Finally, she does not fully explore how the combined power of faith and education can create an innovation mindset that is unrestrained by racial bias or barriers.
Who would benefit from reading this book?
This book is not about just the women of color, non-gender conforming, indigenous, or minority women. It is a book about inequality, injustice, inequity, and prejudices. This is a snapshot of the default settings running unchallenged, ignored, or inconvenient to change particularly for the privileged white women feminists.
First, the feminists, the self-proclaimed agents of change should educate themselves on the price of being marginalized as Kendall describes. They should read this book to broaden their view and reset goals to include uplifting and freeing marginalized non-white women. Second, every member of the US Congress should be asked to declare her/his position on this book’s thesis. Third, employers should be incented to read and declare their views on these issues. All organizations that claim a not-for-profit status to get tax breaks should read and soul search to eradicate the ills of this book. Teachers, police officers, and government employees should know the state of the community they are serving.
When anyone is marginalized, the cost to society is multiplied many times. Their own life productivity, progress, and ambition are crushed. This ripple of hopelessness impacts spouses, children, family, community, health, and crime.
Reading this book is to revisit the status-quo with a new flashlight.
How it affected me
I see and respect Kendall’s rage. I admire her passion and cheer her courage to call out the white feminists’ and activists’ myopia focused on securing their own entitlements. She is brave and bold. More even, she is inspirational in prevailing with a growth mindset to rise above skepticism. Many cynics have no hope for anyone fighting for equity and equality because so many have failed before. Most black females and many families of color have their own commentaries of pain and suffering; and of dreams, aspirations, ambitions, hope, optimism – shattered, shuttered, or squashed.
Apart from the admiration for Kendall, a voice aggrieved, angered, and inspired, I felt awakened on several fronts. The following are my key thoughts:
The reality of marginalized women of color and minorities is a truly sad commentary for a nation that rockets immigrants to the top of the planet in health, wellbeing, and wealth. The white standards apply to everything: art, culture, food, traditions, celebrations, and funerals. The standards that are considered normal, are shaped by medial: movies, TV shows, magazines, institutional investors, and foundations. Until media, laws, politicians, clergy, and businesses decide to level the playing field, those who follow the rules of the game as they are set up now and excel at playing the game will win.
Holding on to privilege is a way of life. Those in power define the standards. Fairness is subjective. It’s always been like this. It’ll always be like this. The systems, good or flawed, can be tricked but they ultimately mostly prevail. This is the gravity of the planet. Short spurts of escape are possible but you’ve got to gain escape velocity to become weightless. If you’re not remarkably superior, the system will decide your options.
To change the rules, we must first rise to the position of credibility, influence, and power. Women of color, immigrants, and other marginalized classes rise here, in America more effortlessly than most other places, and they do it by excellence in skills, going beyond expectations, seeing beyond the horizon, connecting beyond visible dots, kindliness beyond goodness, compassion beyond boundaries, and innovation beyond imagination. All this also just works when a person, man, woman, whatever color or creed is likable. Even geniuses get passed over when not likable. Who defines likeability? Yep! Media. White media. Movies. Mostly funded by white investors’ money. Magazines. Owned by white shareholders. Corporations. Mostly financed by white institutional investors. But in a meaningful time-tested way, likeability comes from simpler patterns: punctuality, trust, honesty, and reliability. We must earn our worth, credibility, and authenticity. Then the doors will open for us to change the rules.
Don’t dig deep into the darkness. It often just reveals more rot. Instead, shine the light on Everest. Show the steps to the top. What’s needed, what’s possible, and what skills are needed? Teach. Inspire. Inform. Climb your Everest. Be a role model.
Want progress and options? Work for progress. Build a better tomorrow by assembling tools and materials and putting them to work today. Win your battles with fairness in mind for all.