I saw my 93-year-old mother scrutinize her lifetime of curated treasures – gifts from palaces, patients, family, and friends, and from travels with my father. Watching her admire and adore them conveyed how precious they are, not because of their value, but because each comes with a special memory of a caring, loving, or affectionate story.
The first round lasted over a month, and Mother again spent the better part of a month sorting out useful things, crockery and utensils, gadgets and furniture, and hanging and displaying decorations, as well as inherited sarees and other items, dividing them up for those she wants to have them.
Anyone who receives anything from Mother will cherish it for the basic reason that Mother has showered her love on all, throughout her entire life, and she has gifted these items to them. Sadly, the memories that hold value for Mother don’t always transfer to others. Nor do they have space in their homes, even when they have affection for her in their hearts.
For me, the lesson in watching others who have received some of Mother’s collected valuables is that people value what they can put to use or showcase right away, or what they can sell in an emergency. Don’t buy or give token gifts that cannot be used, exhausted, or removed. Give gifts that create great memories. Tell them stories they will cherish. Create moments of shared joy, intimate conversations, caring hugs, inspiring explorations, and beautiful journeys.
Keep your home and mind clutter-free and give away things of value as soon as you can. Let those who matter to you enjoy them in your presence.
One final note. Take the pressure off. Let the recipient know that your gift is important but it is just an object. It represents your love and care for them. If it breaks, burns, is stolen, or given to someone else, it will not hurt your feelings. When our bodies themselves disintegrate into ash, why worry about objects?